One day, a little old lady shuffles into our office, and when I ask what I can help her with, she pushes forward an envelope and says, “Letter.” She has an obvious accent, but that’s nothing new, and usually, I can work around the fact that people might not speak Dutch very well. Here’s Sevilla’s third collection of funnies (Disorderly Conduct, 1989; Disorder in the Court, 1993) from U.S. courts, supplied by contributors, named and anonymous, from around the U.S. “Poor kid had to watch four hours of bowel movements,” Ozols explains. “After an extreme close-up review of the record and excellent authorities, the court … We've all sung this song hundreds of times during our lives, but did you know that it is not in the public domain?… Find out the 38 dumbest criminals of all time. . Imagine how everyone was obliged to remain calm and orderly during the exchange. When Arkady Frekhtman, founding partner of Frekhtman & Associates, had a personal injury case involving an injured young man, winning a big judgment hinged on the young man having a life expectancy of 87. Mostly, they need a version of the official verdict that they can take with them — the original always stays in the archives — e.g. For example, one time a guy came in for a hearing on a parking ticket. Andy Simmons Updated: Apr. The Supreme Court, like any other court in the land, hears more than one case per day. Sadly, the kid never took me up on my offer and just sank further and further into the quagmire of the justice system, ultimately spending time in a state pen for his actions. Another man accused of speeding seemed really, well, anxious, as he stood before Judge Caprio. Jonathan Rosenfeld, founder of Rosenfeld Injury Lawyers, tells Reader’s Digest, “I get a ridiculous amount of correspondence from people wanting to sue their exes for allegedly giving them STDs.” Oh? On this particular day, he knows he is going to be drug tested (by me), which includes me physically having to watch him pee into a cup, on the side of which is a thermometer strip. Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles FECUND LIAR. He knew that such kits usually come back under temp, so he had it suspended in a half cup of coffee until he finally took it out and strapped it to his leg before entering the courtroom. These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History. 16, 2016. Thanks for sharing. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. Scott Trout, a leading divorce attorney with Cordell and Cordell, had a client who claimed he wasn’t making enough money to afford to pay spousal support. Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. On the way to the jail, I turn to him. Throughout the week, he falls into the same routine: court in the morning and work in the afternoon. Only in America! Terri Jo68 on September 13, 2018: Awesome! Beware of Killer Whales. James Gray Robinson, a third generation trial attorney and self-proclaimed “cattle enthusiast,” was once hired by an insurance company to defend a farmer who was being sued for rear-ending a vehicle…with a bull, thus putting a whole new meaning to the notion of rear-ending. “This one guy thought the Department of Corrections was trying to turn him into a cyborg. Attorney David Reischer, founder of LegalAdvice.com once had a client who was not into wearing business clothing. Spoiler alert: it turned out the parking ticket was issued in error, so everyone went home happy (except the police officer who wrote the ticket). He called himself “John Doe,” making it impossible for Sanford to call back. T’was a mugging of poor Uncle Sam. In his wisdom he decided that he would represent himself in court. Voir dire, the process of jury selection, isn’t always “funny,” but here’s an exception. !Keep up with Just Laugh!! My colleague couldn’t believe how stupid and careless the juror had been, and was gobsmacked by how much time and effort had now gone to waste, all because the defendant and juror decided to have a chat in a shop. It’s not valid.”. Sanford’s partner at BMS, Lisa J. Find out the dumbest laws in every state. I have a colleague who was selected for jury service. Attorney: Are you sexually active? I try my best to show her examples and work around the language barrier, but she doesn’t get any of it. “My wife and I are trying to have a baby, and she’s ovulating right now.” What could be said beyond, “Thank you for sharing”? What should have been a no-brainer, unfortunately, was a bit more complicated. In 2009, a no-nonsense judge jailed a man … I still maintain that he would have made one h*** of a racecar driver. Funny Court Stories These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Nope. BLOG. One of the other jurors had been shopping in town that evening, saw the defendant, and in spite of being told not to discuss the case, decided to discuss the case with him, in full view of everyone in the shop! The fake report card. The defendant was tried again six months later. a verdict wherein the judge says that their insurance does have to pay them, which they can then use to take steps to receive this payment. Southern Law Joke. Whether you’re in the jury, on the witness stand, or on trial yourself, it’s certainly a tense and nail-biting environment. On his first day of the trial, he is in court most of the day, coming into work in the late afternoon for a few hours. He declared a mistrial, held both the defendant and juror in contempt, and explained that now there would have to be a new trial with a new jury. Nothing but the truth. The man claimed he’d meant to park for just a moment to go into a restaurant to bring his mother a glass of water (she was dehydrated, he explained). Court's Disorder. Often, our court is so busy, it is just him and me in the courtroom for staff. There is a pause. See more bank jokes, bungled robberies and funny money stories: $ Home $ Bungled burglaries $ Stupid criminals $ Funny bank robberies $ Stupid lawyer jokes $ Funny crime stories $ Police humour $ Funny lawyer jokes $ Great swindles $ Funny money $ Credit crunch jokes $ Ways of making money $ Funny identity theft $ Funny court transcripts No translator, nothing. These people often produce documents which they claim trump statute law. “Actually, yes,” the man replied. My mother is a prosecutor working for the UK Crime & Prosecution service. My patience has finally worn out, so I just say, “There is nothing I can do with that letter. This doesn’t always go over so well with judges, so Reischer tried to convince the man to at least wear a tie. But there’s no such thing; it’s about something completely unrelated. Now, we’re talking about a kid, about seventeen or eighteen, and I know his drug of choice is weed. The defendant and the lawyer have a quick chat. More legal hilarity comes from Frank Caprio, Providence’s Chief Municipal Judge in Rhode Island and now the star of Caught in Providence, who, “judging” by the stories he recently shared with Reader’s Digest, has clearly has heard everything. So this week, we’d like to ask you: What are your funniest and weirdest stories … You make good things happen. He reckons the case will be interesting, as it relates to quite a high-profile incident that was in all the local papers. She stands there for a minute, during which I pretend she isn’t there, until she finally shuffles away. I hope life brings you much success. “Well, I know your boss, and he’s a real jerk,” the woman said sweetly. I will tell the jail staff that charges are pending, but he is to be held on PC of probation violation. Guilty as charged! In August last year an American advertising executive is sued her boss for £3.9million … “Is there something you want to say?” Judge Caprio asked the man. Something isn’t right. For example, here’s how Justice Goldberg (a federal appeals court judge in Texas) began his 1986 opinion in the case of United States v. Batson: Some farmers from Gaines had a plan. Yup, there she is again, with that exact same letter. He sued her on grounds of… The taxi driver will have a fun story to tell his family after his shift! Don’t miss the weird laws you probably break all the time. 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